Laughter Good For The Soul

     Trust everyone is having a good day.  However, if not, perhaps this will put a smile on your face.  My taste in humor many not be the same as yours, but I thought this was hilarious.

While sitting on the side of the highway waiting to watch the speeding drivers, an officer saw a car puttering along at 22 MPH.  He said to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turned on his lights and pulled the driver over.

Approaching the car, he noticed that there were five elderly ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as a ghosts.  The driver obviously confused, said, "Officer I do not understand, I was not speeding!  What is the problem?

"Ma'am,"The officer replied, "You were not speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit?  No sir, I was doing the speed limit, exactly twenty-two miles an hour!  Just like the sign said," she replied proudly.The officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explained that "22" on the sign was the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

The officer then said, "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask, "Is everyone in this car OK?" These women seem very shaken and they have not uttered a single sound this whole time."

"Oh, they will be all right in a few minutes.  We just got off Route 110."

Tuesday With MEME

THE LIGHTER SIDE OF LIFE

The entire world is in such a terrible state now, we can all use a bit of humor now and then. The following are some cute answers to bible study:

LOT'S WIFE

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Fred interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once while she was driving', he announced triumphantly, 'and she turned into a telephone pole!'

DID NOAH FISH

A Sunday School teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark? "No, he replied.  How could he with only two worms."

SAY A PRAYER

Little Frankie and his family were  having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.  Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.  When Little Frankie received his plate, he started eating right away.

Frankie! Please wait until we say our prayer,' said his mother.

'I don't need to, 'the boy replied.

'Of course you do,'his mother insisted.  We always say a prayer before eating at our  house.'

'That is at our house, Frankie explained.  'But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!'

AMEN!

 

Tuesday School Day with MeMe

  Version of Common Proverbs 

Since the schools have started everywhere, thought it would be fun to hear what some of the first graders have to say.

 Don't change horses until they stop running.

You can lead a horse to water, but how?

Don't bite the hand that looks dirty.

You can't teach an old dog new math.

If you lie down with dogs, you will stink in the morning.

The pen is mightier than the pigs.

A penny saved is not much.

Don't put of till tomorrow what you put on to go to  bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you have to blow your nose.

When the blind lead the blind get out of the way.

A bird in the hand is going to poop on you.

A miss is as good as a mister.

No news is impossible.

Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded.

Stress Time

 Eye Surgery

I regret to inform you, I will not be  able to post, visit or comment for several days.  I am having eye surgery and it is very difficult trying to do this post.  Just do not forget me and will be back as soon as I can. I am too old for all this going on.  I  am stressed to the max.

 

Seniors - Count Your Blessings

Being a Senior Citizen Means

l.  In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

2.  There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

3.  You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

4.  You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

5.  Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

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A Chuckle

While shopping for vacation cloths, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years & twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit. I asked my husband's advice.

"What do you think?  I asked.  "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini, he replied.  'You would never get it all in one'.

HE'S STILL IN INTENSIVE CARE

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WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN

I have been to many places, but I've  never been in Cahoots.  Apparently you can't go alone.  You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito.  I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane.  They don't have an airport, you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my computer.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt.  Try not to visit there too often.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense.  It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age, I need all the stimuli I can get.

BE HAPPY!  Happy lines are much better than frown lines.  Blessings to all.

 

Tuesday With MeMe-Showers of Blessings

Texas is in a terrible drought.  Thank the good Lord, the heavens opened up over the weekend and blessed us with a much, much needed rain. Due to get more in the next few days.

I was truly thankful for this rain, but I have no adequate words to express my happiness and pleasure to so many blogging friends that showered me with lovely cards of concern. Worlds of people never hear from anyone let alone receive cards. Below is the best I could do to share my cards.  Received 79 all total.  I received a few after this photo was  taken.

Trust me this is no blessing.  My computer is driving me mad with so many issues.  I do not know what  the problems are, except I know when things are not working right.  Taking it to a "computer doctor".  I may not have a post up for a few days. Wanted you to know, so you would not think I was not up to par again.  So far, I am doing well. Will be back as soon as I can.






























 

Gone To The Dogs-Tuesday With MeMe

My family has always been dog and cat people. I used to have one, but no more.  The loss is just too much grief. The dogs we had were never bought except one.  My late husband paid $5 for one at a flea market  It was just a plain dog, but one of the best. Each of the following belong to different family members.

French Bulldog is a small breed of domestic dogs.  "Frenchies" were bred in the 1800s by lace makers first in England then in France.  They are playful and affectionate.

Beagles

 

Beagles are a breed of small to medium sized dogs.  They are a member of the hound group.  It is similar in appearance to the fox hound, but smaller with shorter legs and long soft ears. They have a great sense of smell and tracking instincts. Beagles are intelligent and popular pets because of their size, even temper and lack of inherited health problems.

Dachshunds

These dogs are sort legged, long bodied breed belonging to the hound family. They have long drooping ears and come from a German origin. The Dachshund continues to remain one of the top ten dog breeds in the U.S.


 

Acts of Kindness Tuesday With MeMe

Acts of Kindness

This is so very true.  It has happened to me  more times than one. Starting back in December, when I was eating out, someone paid for my meal.  I thought they were doing it as a Christmas gesture. However, this continued to happen on several future occasions.  I never once knew who was sharing these acts of kindness.

 Recently experienced this blessing again. Had an early appointment and decided to wait until after the appointment to have breakfast.  A family came in after I did and sat in a booth opposite from me.  It was a couple with a teenage son. After they had been there awhile, the young man spoke to me and said I looked lonely alone. I informed him I had been alone a long time, but I still enjoyed each day and made the best of them.  He thought that was great.  We all proceeded with our meal. When I asked for my check, the waitress said it would be taken care of.  I looked over at the teenager and he was just a grinning.  I asked, "Did you do this?"  "Yes", was his response.  I was touched by all the other times, but this time was different. I knew who it was. We had a very emotional embrace right there in the restaurant.  I told his parents how blessed they were to have a son like this young man.  Not many teenagers would do that.  He had paid with his own money.

If you have not shared an act of kindness, you should.  It is amazing how good it makes you feel to give.

A random act of kindness - No strings attached.

Valentine Special Edition

 Did You Know

About 192 million people Valentine's Day cards are exchanged each year.  That is the largest seasonal card-sending occasion of the year next to Christmas.

73% of people who buy flowers on Valentine's Day are men, while only 27% are women.

Alexander Graham Bell applied for his patent on the telephone, an "Improvement in Telegraphy", on Valentine's Day, 1876.

The first Valentine's box of chocolates was introduced by Richard Cadbury in 1868.

Approximately 110 million roses, the majority red, will be sold and delivered within a 3 day period for Valentine's Day.

Ester Howland was the first American to make commercial Valentine's cards out of scraps of ribbon, lace and pictures.

  

 Since it is Valentine's Day, make sure your love does not fade for someone special.

 

Cell Phone Users Beware Tuesdays With MeMe

I do not have a cell phone, but have nothing against them most of the time.  It is annoying when someone is talking so loud.  I am not interested in other people's conversations. They are good to have for any number of reasons, I just chose not to have one. I am sharing the following with you that I thought said it all. You never know what the person that is hearing your conversation may do.

After a very busy day, a lady settled down in her seat on a train and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice."Hi sweetheart.  It's Eric.  I am on the train.  Yes, I now it's the six thirty and not the four thirty but I had a long meeting ....no, honey, not with that floozie from the accounts offfice...with the boss.

No sweetheart, you are the only one in my life---yes, I am sure, cross my heart".

Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly, when the young woman sitting next to him, who was obviously angered by his continuous diatribe, yelled at the top of her voice.

"Hey, Eric, turn that stupid phone off and come back to bed!" Eric does not us his cell phone in public anymore.

A lesson learned the hard way.

New Year's Eve Tuesday With MeMe

New Year's Eve

As 2013 comes to a close, do be careful how you bring in 2014.Whether you are watching fireworks or sharing a toast of champagne, make sure you do it in a safe manner.

Trust this does not happen to you or your loved ones.

May your journey into 2014 be a very safe one.

If I Were A SantaTuesdayWith MeMe

Merry Christmas to all my blogging friends. However, the following is especially for the females.(author unknown)
If I were a Santa, you know what I would do, I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you. I would bring you things you have lost, but treasured before.

I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor.  Than restore the old color that once graced your hair, before times and bleaches took residence there.

I would remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin, so you could not spend hours rubbing grease on your skin. You'd never have hot flashes or queer dizzy spells. And, you would not hear noises like ringing of bells.

I would bring back the shape you were gifted. So things now suspended need not be uplifted.  I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back, till you would be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.

No sore, aching feet and no corns on your toes.  No searching for your glasses when they are right on your nose.

You would never have a headache, so no pills would you take.  No heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.  Yes, if I were Santa, you would never look stupid.  You would be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.

But alas, I am not Santa.  I am simply just me. Even though we have grown older this wish is a sincere

Jodie Thomas Tuesday With MeMe

Two or three years ago, our local newspaper had a very nice feature on this lady. I read it and so did my daughter-in-law.  Mrs.Thomas lives in Amarillo, Texas and writer of Texas novels.  As a result, my daughter-in-law wanted the  Whispering Mountain series books. They are written about places and situations around Fort Worth, Texas.

I managed to find the entire series(6) in time for my daughter-in-laws birthday last year. The new book, Promise Me Texas, in this series will be out the middle of November.  A few weeks ago, Jodie Thomas was appearing here at Barnes & Noble.  I was fortunate enough to personally meet this lovely lady.  She is so pleasant and gracious.

Jodie Thomas is a New York Times and USA Today best selling author. With a degree in Family Studies, Mrs. Thomas is a marriage and family counselor by education, a background that enables her to write about family dynamics. Honored in 2002 as a Distinguished Alumni in Texas Tech University in Lubbock. She enjoys interacting with students on the West Texas A&M University campus where she currently serves as Writer in Residence. When she is not working on a novel, she enjoys traveling with her husband.

If you have not read any of her novels, you are really missing out.  I bought two different books at the signing that were not in a series.  They are great and ones you do not want to put down. You can find her and keep up with her latest work at www.jodithomas.com

I did not post this for any compensation. Just wanted to make you aware of this great writer. I highly recommend her.  

SMILE--It's Tuesday With MeMe

 LIFE'S LIGHTER SIDE

Our world affairs are in such a terrible state, thought you would enjoy something on a lighter note   Perhaps for just a minute, if this puts smile on your face, it was worth it.

LEATHER

When a woman wears leather clothing, a man's heart beats faster.  His throat gets dry.  He gets weak in the knees and begins to think irrationally.  Ever wonder why?  She smells like a new truck!

OLD MAN

He was eating lunch at a truck stop when three bikers walked in.  The first pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, then took a seat at the counter.  The second spit in the old man's milk, then took a seat at the counter.  The third turned his plate over and then took a  seat at the counter.

The old man left without a word.  One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man is he?

The waitress replies: "Not much of truck driver either.  He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."

WHAT TO DO 

An elderly couple just bought cellphones and learned how to text. She was the romantic type and one afternoon sent him this message.

"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.

  If you are laughing, send me your smile.

  If you are eating, send me a bite.

  If you are drinking, send me a sip,

  If you are crying, send me your tears.

   I love you."

The husband texted back to her: "I'm in the bathroom.  Please advise."

"A mom always looks for her number ones and their number twos."

Unbelievable Tuesday With MeMe

YOU JUST NEVER KNOW HOW THINGS WILL TURN OUT

Shortly after I starting blogging, my son gave me a Point and Shoot Digital camera. It was great and had features to make taking photos fun.  I am no photographer and need help along the way. This particular camera had a great book of instructions.  Very helpful for someone like me. It also had what they called a touch monitor. It served me well until one day I dropped it and the touch monitor cracked.  When that happened, all its other functions stopped working.  It allowed me to take a picture, but could not delete or do anything but that.

On my birthday, back in August, my kids decided a new camera was in order.  They gave me anther Point and Shoot digital without the touch monitor.  It is a great camera with many functions as well. The only problem there was no book of instructions with it, just a CD.  Now that does not work well with me.  I have been doing a lot of trial and errors. The following photo is a prime example.  I think this turned out to be one my best, except I have no clue what I did to make it look like this.

Trust you enjoy my Gadenia as much as that fellow exploring.